When I was sweet 16, I went to the local village hall for an anniversary party. I was smoking at the time but my parents didn’t know. My mum and dad walked in just as they were about to do the speeches and just as I was dragging on a ciggie. I quickly put it out between my fingers and shoved it in my bag. Unfortunately, there were tissues in there, which themselves started smoking. I sat there trying to discreetly stamp on my bag and stifle my panic. It was no good. I had to run to the toilet, pretending to be sick in my bag whilst not stifling myself from the smoke. I made it to the loo and doused the fire with water and calmly emerged appearing completely unscathed. Which is more than can be said for my handbag. Luckly the speeches were clearly very good as nobody seemed to notice me or know of my dilema ………… until now.