My very own mitten string

I’m forever losing things. So much so that when I met Mark, I told him that he had to pass an assessment of making sure I always had my purse, bag, phone and keys whenever we went anywhere. He passed with full colours and bless him, still keeps his cool when I now also have to look for my glasses, false teeth and hearing aid too!

I definitely need to keep my falsies on a string, or as my dentist suggested have them fitted with GPS tracking. Once at a party my newly fitted bottom nashers were so uncomfortable I removed them and put them in my bag. All went well until my bag was stolen and my nashers were never seen again. I did report it to the police, on line and had several chuckles thinking of them reading this especially when they replied “can you please advise what else was in your bag with your teeth”. It also made me laugh to picture the thief’s face – no money, no phone just a lippy and false nashers!

Once these had been replaced I then lost them temporarily, when I wrapped them in the kebab wrapper on a pissed night out and left them in my husbands car when he collected us. He went to work the next morning and decided to clear all the kebab wrappers out of the car into the work bin – teeth included. Luckily this only went into the bin by the smokers hut and not in the back of his bin lorry.

Another Two days of teeth hunting over. Mark looked in all the bins but found them staring out of the washing machine – clean and sparkly – after washing my trousers!

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